From: Michael Doherty
Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2000 15:28:10 EST
Subject: Expert hacker needed: $$handsum reward$$
To anybody that has the ability and the gall to hack my grades to near
perfection shall be rewarded handsomely. This can be negotiated, but am in
need of an expert w/o a trail. The university that I am enrolled with has
politicly give fall to my future and am in deep jeopardy, please with all
the life in me needs a better past! I will gladly keep this mono-to-mono
with you. This can be simple and I wish I had the ability and the
confidence in doing so but do not, and am pleading for an expert to do
Normally I'm not one to utilize the admittedly cheap method of
critiquing spelling and grammar as a response to a mail...but
Mr. Doherty, it's quite obvious from your email -why- your grades
are in such a perilous state. That said:
> Subject: Expert hacker needed: $$handsum reward$$
Excuse me. You're in a university and you can't spell 'handsome'?
> To anybody that has the ability and the gall to hack my grades to near
> perfection shall be rewarded handsomely.
That's not a complete sentence, it's awkwardly formed, and it lacks
a subject. You did, however, manage to spell 'handsomely' correctly
> The university that I am enrolled with has politicly give fall to my
> future and am in deep jeopardy, please with all the life in me needs
> a better past!
Oh, man, where do I begin? First: you've ended a sentence fragment
with a preposition. Second: try 'politically'. Third: 'has give'?
Were you asleep when they covered 'verbs' in first grade? Fourth:
'am' needs an antecedent. Find yourself a pronoun. Fifth: 'with all
the life in me needs a better past!' I can't really touch that. It
speaks for itself.
> I will gladly keep this mono-to-mono with you.
The phrase is 'mano a mano', meaning 'hand to hand'.
I could go on, but I'm already bored. Sir, you're a certifiable idiot,
and I can't imagine there's anything 'political' about your poor
grades. I'd imagine, frankly, that the best thing that could
possibly happen in terms of your future would be a few more years
in school. Get used to it, Mikey.