Crappy Movies - Frequently Asked Questions
 

Why does MTV suck?
MTV sucks because they play crappy videos and they have stupid television shows which are harder to watch than the insipid movies they endorse. The only programing station worse than MTV is WB. I often wonder what is harder to watch: MTV's The Real World and its cast of cretins or Moesha. That's probably because I watch too much TV to begin with. But that's another issue all together.

You guys seem pretty knowledgeable about what sucks and what doesn't, where can I talk to you guys to find out more?
irc.psychic.com It's cool there. Uhm, yeah.

Why did you guys hack the 200 Cigarettes web site? The movie isn't even out yet.
Because we know it will suck. MTV endorses it, thusly, it sucks. Courtney Love is in it, thusly, it will suck. Robert Deniro is not in it, thusly, it will suck. It's another Gen-Xish type movie that I find very insulting. What ever happened to quality movies about serial killers and mobsters blowing each other up? I don't give a shit about some crappy bar scene in some far away, imaginary candyland that Paramount created to make them millions of dollars off rich, suburban white kids with too much time and apparently too much money on their hands.

Who is that guy on MTV's Road Rules that wears the r00t hat?
No clue. But whoever he is he's not a very snappy dresser and he seems to have a little trouble in social situations. He also seems to have difficulties communicating effectively with the sista among them. I like how MTV always sticks in their token black person, or token asian person, or token gay person, to fill the show out so it's a little more P.C.. It's pretty cool how there's always some white person that likes to fight with the token black person all the while MTV capitalizes off of it. And, honestly, would you wear that r00t hat in public? If the answer is yes, please stop reading this, get up, go outside and lie down in the street until a car runs you over and your brains squirt out all over the road causing many accidents and traffic delays. Because you are a dork.

Where should I go to meet you guys again?
irc.psychic.com

Aren't you guys going to speak spanish and talk about Venezuela or some other opressed South American country?
Yes. Arriba la raza. Yo quiero Taco Bell. And free Venezuela or something.

Who else should we free?
Kevin Mitnick, Mumia Abu-Jamal and Truman. Oh wait, Truman got out at the end. Okay, scratch the Truman thing. I wonder how much Jim Carrey got paid for that movie. I'm sure it's too much.

Courtney Love is looking kinda skanky, how do you guys feel about her doing movies?
The People vs. Larry Flynt was good, with no thanks from her, if ya ask me. Courtney Love is not only a crappy actress, but she's a crappy singer/guitarist and her band sucks too. Kurt Kaboom wasn't as great as everyone thinks as well. Neither was Tupac now that we're on the subject of celebrities who have died from gunshot wounds. Stupid celebrities.

What other celebrities died of gunshot wounds?
I don't know. I think that guy who played Hogan on Hogan's heroes did. JFK did. Abraham Lincoln, does he count? Robert Kennedy. Biggie Smalls. The old bass player from Metallica had a bus fall on his head. That's kinda cool. Does he count?

Where again?
irc.psychic.com

Will you guys keep on hacking movie sites to tell us they suck?
Most likely.

You guys rock, can I have your autographs.
No.
 
 

Please go to irc.psychic.com and tell us how lame we are and that we're not as badass as we think.